Describe me IM

I do a little IM'ing. I don't know the lingo and I really only have one IM buddy that I chat with on a regular basis. However, I already feel like MSN IM and others don't really describe me or my particular state at the moment. Then senses of self at one's disposal are:

online
be right back
busy
away
on the phone
out to lunch

I need something more. I need something that really describes what my current state is so that people can respond to me appropriately. Here are a few of my suggestions:

mildly retarded:
"Jane Doe may not respond to big words or long sentences as her status is set to mildly retarded"

extremely distracted:
"Jane Doe may not respond to one thought until you have moved on to five new thoughts because her status is set to extremely distracted"

hepped up on mars bars:
"Jane Doe may respond with nonsensical misspellings due to a sugar rush as her status is set to hepped up on mars bars"

very hungry:
"Jane Doe may respond only with references to lunch, food, and eating as her status is set to very hungry"

There are others but my mars bar is calling to me. BRB.