Power of Ten

I just wanted to give everyone a small math problem. I know that some of us hate math. I love it but I've always known there was something wrong with me. Anyways, math is very important and 10 is a very important integer in math. There are 10 commandments, 10 little piggies on our feet, and things multiplied by 10 get larger!

I will submit this problem as an example:

a x 10=b

where a is the number of innocent people killed in the WTC on 9/11, in this case a = 2,405

and b is the approximate number of innocent people killed in the war which used 9/11 as popular, yet unfounded, excuse.

Your job is to solve for b and justify your answer.

The math is easy but the justification..........well good luck!!!!

Captain Picard responsible for land-bridge migration

In a strange case of fiction-becomes-reality. It was reported today that Star Trek is a reality-show in the future and that its main star, Captain Picard, traveled in a time-warp ending up on earth 9,300 years ago where he gathered a crew to follow their hardy leader accross the land bridge and to new found glory as one of Northwest Indian Tribes oldest ancestors, dubbed Kennewick man. Sadly he died along the banks of the Columbia river, necessitating a quick and dirty end to his show.

Tip for the Day

This is a tip from a guide to backpacking:

"You can simulate the warmth of a sleeping bag by crawling into a large plastic bag with several geese".

Not-A-Fan Club

I have decided to form a new club:

The Tom Cruise Not-A-Fan Club

This club is dedicated to hating Tom Cruise, boycotting his movies, spreading awful truths and nasty rumors, and generally sneering at the TV every time he is on it. I already have nominated Kate B. as the Vice-President in charge of Cultural Affairs and I will pay her with chocolate and pistacchio pudding.

Oodles of Poodles

So this isn't really about oodles of poodles. It's mainly just about one. A poodle in Yakima. Yakima, for those of you familiar with Washington state is REALLY far away from Seattle. And there is nothing there worth visiting...nothing.

My sister is on the lookout for a dog to adopt. Against everyones continued advice she has decided she wants a poodle. Problem is that all the little blue haired ladies and crack crazed kids have adopted all the local poodles. So she wants a poodle from Yakima. She is going to drive to freakin' Yakima to get a poodle. That is some serious poodle dedication. She's not even 100% sure she wants this poodle but she's going to check it out. She want me to come. I'll I have to say is:

There is no Freakin' way I'm driving hours and hours to visit a poodle!!!! Would you?

Describe me IM

I do a little IM'ing. I don't know the lingo and I really only have one IM buddy that I chat with on a regular basis. However, I already feel like MSN IM and others don't really describe me or my particular state at the moment. Then senses of self at one's disposal are:

online
be right back
busy
away
on the phone
out to lunch

I need something more. I need something that really describes what my current state is so that people can respond to me appropriately. Here are a few of my suggestions:

mildly retarded:
"Jane Doe may not respond to big words or long sentences as her status is set to mildly retarded"

extremely distracted:
"Jane Doe may not respond to one thought until you have moved on to five new thoughts because her status is set to extremely distracted"

hepped up on mars bars:
"Jane Doe may respond with nonsensical misspellings due to a sugar rush as her status is set to hepped up on mars bars"

very hungry:
"Jane Doe may respond only with references to lunch, food, and eating as her status is set to very hungry"

There are others but my mars bar is calling to me. BRB.

Nashville Here I Come!!!

So next week I'm going to be in Nashville during the Country Music Marathon. I'm hoping to see lots of men in spandex running shorts and cowboy hats.

Nashville, for those who don't know, is also the home of the Willie Nelson Museum and The NunBun.

Given the recent de-secularization of society; those of you will little faith might just be inspired by the words of Willie and the image of Mother Teresa gracing a cinnamon roll. I can't think of a better role model than the Nun Bun for bringing consumerism back into religion with full force.

By the way, did you place your bet for Pope Benedict's successor yet? It's not to late (or, apparently, too early)!

The Darves I Know

These are the Darves I know, I Know
These are the Darves I know.
Some of them are Erics.
Some of them are not.

Eric Darve
Felix Darve
Galo Darve
Isabelle Darve

Truth be told. There aren't that many Darves. So sad.

Teaching Philosophy

I recently had to write a teaching philosophy for a job that I was applying for. I decided to keep it short and sweet:

"I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be".

Oh Whitney!!! So wise.